23- Jhaiji my mother

23- Jhaiji, my Mother

The Cell Phone buzzed aloud. I looked up and realized, it had not rung all night and said “Thank-you Lord!”
Like other past mornings my mind wandered. It was early outside the window. My steps took me into the Batra Hospital Corridors. Retiring nurses were finishing patient notes consulting each other in whispers. The guards were loitering around keeping awake as were the waking orderlies. Cleaners were doing the cleaning as best as they thought they ought, without getting fired.

Outside, ah! A breath of fresh air, the chirping birds, some still hiding crickets, white puffy clouds in Blueing skies comforting to the soul---.
Walking towards the Park, noticed a big Padlock on the Gate, perhaps the Hospital assumed walking was not good for people and certainly not for ailing patients.
At a little distance on the Left was the Main road with the main Gate. Already a fleet of Cars, buses, Ambulances, Bikes motorized and un-motorized peddled into-----the day.
I turned Right. Sweepers swept the grounds, raising dust, the dust and haze---

Through the haze I remembered entering the corridors of the medical College.
The first sight of the Anatomy hall where bodies lay, rows after rows on marble slabs for our learning. As a new one wheeled inside, Anju had fainted. Then the study of Physiology from the Cockroach, to Frog, to Rat to Dog and finally Man.
The long and winding corridors, the turns and familiar and not so familiar corners of Irwin hospital-the wards, the wards, the rounds, the rounds, the Pathology on the Beds, on Floors, on Benches---
The Chaos, Wheeling chairs, Rushing doors, Blood, Gory blood, life saving Blood—
From Babies born to Shrieking mothers to Shrieking sons of dying dear ones.

I turned around into the swallowing corridors, the life saving corridors of Hope and Despair.
ICU –Outside, the waking and already awake relatives waiting, waiting ----for the Guard to call their name---perhaps to get another prescription life saver, perhaps good news, perhaps bad---
I walked in. Was allowed to sort of wander in and out as and when, by the Guard who knew I was doctor, also daughter of my mother inside—
There was an ‘unquiet quietness’. The gentle and yet hurried scrutiny by the Nurses, male and female. Gadgets, monitors, tubes, fluids, charts, green and white bandages, tapes—
The patients were lumbering, some lying oblivious, some sitting oblivious.
Mother lay in the distance, oblivious to my form in Green gown, mask and quiet steps.
Eyes were closed, pale-looking, ruddy and pale.
Breathing gently through the blankets—50% ventilator now and reduced Vaso-pressors, increased urine output, the monitor more regular, than irregular—the patterns less zigzag.
“Medical parameters improving—but the Septicemia has wrecked the right hand—leave it alone” they said—“wait and watch” they said----
I hoped. I despaired. I walked out. I walked back, “Where to, dear Lord?”

‘A Creaking Stretcher comes through the flapping plastic doors. Fluid running down the plastic bag into the veins, into the Heart—‘
Hopes creaking, feebly hanging on, I entered Room 362. “Aap kee Chai, Madam”
Thank you!
I sipped the insipid Tea, swallowed a Pill, closed my eyes and lay down again.

Jhai, the eldest of 7 sibs was born in Mullapur and Nana Vakilji brought her up in Ludhiana till she was a Metriculate. Married at 18, ‘the fair fashionable’ bride from the city of Punjab was welcomed in the Rural Haveli of Gumthala in Haryana.

Whilst she had to be a submissive housewife, she certainly had her ‘Saas-Bahu’ protests with my Dadi who had been possessive of Babuji, her only off-spring.

After Babuji’s demise Jhai lived with Vikram and wife Mita for 20 years, but now, more a subtle ‘controller’ than ‘controlled’. The ‘Saas-Bahu’ equation reversed and Mita bore the brunt. For me personally, she helped in my re-settlement in Delhi, financially and otherwise, knowing that Babuji also would have wished so.

Back at Batra ICU, she was now, stuck between the ventilator and the monitors. She stayed un-conscious with the Heart beating feebly. Her demise was not easy for her.
Neither was it easy for all of us as it involved lot of tough emotions and decisions of responsibility at various points of her suffering during the last days.

Well, both Jhai and Babuji are no more. But we carry their Genes forwards.
They have given us the Best Education and made us into capable human beings.
They have given us Security both Material and Emotional on which we and our children can live lavishly and comfortably for all of our lives.
They have also imbibed in us values, morals and a sense of Freedom and Confidence to conduct our lives.

There is a strange void now. The walls of their house that felt as the Womb where we were conceived and the bed where I could put my head and instantly go into a peaceful slumber does not embed us any more.

I know, we, my generation and the next, shall continue to support each other in good and bad times and after this time of ‘crisis’, stay supportive and together. May God bestow us with strength in carrying our family into the future with integrity and a rightful purpose!

Veena